Terms of service

Dirt Church Terms of Service

Welcome, sinner. By stepping into the hallowed halls of Dirt Church (aka our website), you agree to play by the rules below. We keep it simple, but we don’t mess around.

  1. 1. General Use: You’re here because you dig outdoor gear, beef jerky, or both. By buying our stuff, you agree you’re at least 18 years old (or you’ve convinced your parents that “Dirt Church” is wholesome enough to swipe their credit card).

  2. 2. Orders & Payments: Prices are in U.S. dollars—because that’s what the taco truck takes. Pay up front. We don’t do IOUs, layaway, or “my cousin Venmoed you.” We can cancel or refuse any order if it looks sketchy. Bots, scammers, and jerky hoarders beware.

    3. Shipping: We’ll send your goods to the address you give us. If you typo your apartment number, that’s on you. Shipping times are estimates. We don’t control the postal service, UPS, or whether your neighbor steals packages off porches.

  3. 4. Returns & Refunds:

  • · Clothing: If it shows up defective (our bad), we’ll replace it. No problem.

  • · Jerky: It’s food. It’s perishable. Once it leaves us, it’s yours. No take-backs.

  • · Wrong item? Damaged in transit? We’ll make it right—just holler within 7 days of delivery.

  1. 5. Intellectual Property: Our logos, designs, and brand are ours. Don’t slap them on a T-shirt or jerky bag and try to sell it yourself, unless you want us to sic a mountain lion on you (metaphorically, probably).

  2. 6. Limitation of Liability: Our products are sold “as-is” and “as available.” If you wear our shirt and suddenly get more attention at the taco stand, that’s on you. If you eat jerky and can’t stop, that’s also on you. You’re responsible for checking ingredients and allergens. We’re not paying for your ER visit if you’re allergic to beef.

  3. 7. Governing Law: All disputes shall be handled under the laws of the great state of Utah. (Yes, Utah—land of red rocks, national parks, and questionable fry sauce recipes.)

  4. 8. Changes to Terms: We might update these terms whenever we feel like it. If you keep shopping or munching after we update, you’re agreeing to the new terms.